This is sheer brillance.
About a month ago, T and I decided to have a weekly date night. We’d alternate each Wednesday the planning of such night and it is an appointment not to be missed.
A lil backstory….we’ve been together for almost 3 years now. Started as nothing, neither of us wanted a relationship, turned into eeeewww feelings, and at one point I actually hired a life coach to keep me away from him.
Destiny was no match for our objections. We were pulled together like magnets and eventually gave in. And we lived happily ever after. Um, hell no.
See, we’re people – with feelings, closets full of skeletons, habits, beliefs, children, and exes. And we’re not 20…we’ve been set in our ways for a while….
So begins the task of turning into a “we”. Infatuation turns to love, and simultaneously reality begins to set in. We introduce the children, meet the exes, merge the households, divide the chores, blend the finances. Holy crap is a second marriage more complicated than a first one.
We slowly, and not without some bruises, learn how to communicate. It’s not as simple as you’d think. Expectations and assumptions spread like wildfire and it’s all we can do some days to just agree to stay.
When the rare, sweet moments of just the two of us – no bills, kids, work, etc happen – it’s bliss. Our bubble is magical.
Slowly we learn how to dance outside the bubble without stepping on toes. We read together, grow together, support each other, and apologize when we fuck up – which happens quite a bit. Most importantly we listen, see the big picture, and forgive. Because, well, love.
In the midst of some pretty bumpy roads, I’ve been known to say….”but I like him!”. My spirit craves his, honors his, respects his….so we continue to love and learn and learn to love.
Back to date night…omg! The anticipation each week is amazing….excitement on both sides…whether the planner or the plannee. The goal is to light each other up, and it works so so well.
This week I had a bomb dropped on me via email mid day on our coveted date night. Something that would have sent me to bed at noon and under a blanket with tears for at least 48 hours…complete with some sort of binge (Netflix, books, candy crush, ice cream) to distract me and the bare minimum being accomplished in life. But this was date night! I didn’t want to ruin it.
Now don’t get me wrong, it took me a few hours to recover (wickedly better than days)…and recover I did.
A house FULL of candles, music (Spotify has a date night playlist that’s awesome btw), wine, lingerie, a table setting of two pillows on the rug with one plate and two forks, take out, and us. It was just what the doctor ordered.
Nearing the end of our meal, we each choose one of 3 fortune cookies that were in the bag, read it silently to ourselves and then swapped.
What are the chances??? We look up at each other, with a smile and a wtf while we reach for the third….maybe this place got a deal on identical fortunes…nope, it was different.
Now I don’t know about you, but I have NEVER gotten the same fortune at the same time and I’ve eaten my fair share of white boxed food in my life…we’re taking it as a sign from the universe.
This thing called love, marriage, life….we’re doing it right. We’re putting the energy in and the rewards are amazing. Given my ultra shitty day, I’m going to go so far as to say date night not only reinforced, enhanced, and deepened my relationship – it helped me grow as a better human being- dealing with challenges instead of sitting in them letting them deal with me.
Even the fortune cookie knows we’ve got a good thing going here. XO