When you live your life outloud…

I speak my mind. I share my thoughts, dreams, successes, challenges. My struggles are pretty transparent because I fully believe we can all relate to them and I’m not alone.

Some judge me for this. They think I shouldn’t share so much. Some applaud me for this. They can relate and stop feeling alone. 

What happens when it’s your significant other that takes offense? 

I took down a recent Facebook post of a quote that resonated with me because he didn’t like it. He got a text from a friend who asked him if everything was ok after reading it. He got upset that people would think it was about him. It was more weight on the relationship that was teetering off balance to begin with. 

We’ve been struggling lately. I think it would be safe to say both of our love tanks are on E. Because of this, everything hurts. There is no communication. There is no intimacy.  There are walls, negative patterns, and hurt. It really does blow massive chunks.

I think of my fav book of all time: Fierce Conversations. “The conversation is the relationship.” What if there is no conversation?

I’m supposed to fly to Portugal today – girls trip – purchased back in November. 

Do you go when things suck so bad at home? Would the relationship be better with a break or will it be damaged further? Does it matter at all?

We come from two completely different worlds. What is status quo in his seems foreign to me. What I assume to be normal adult behaviour is something that he’s never experienced.  What draws us together? I used to say it was that we were wired the same…growth minded, high achievers. I guess that is still true. The coming together on day to day is nearly impossible though. 

I’ve felt lonely and taken for granted for ages now. I’m tired of having the same conversations. I’ve begun to withdraw.

The conversation is the relationship. 

Doesn’t work when there is no communication beyond a few words each day. 

Where do I go from here?

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One thought on “When you live your life outloud…

  1. Hello and good morning to you!
    Go on your trip. When you return home, see if marriage counselling is an option for you both. If you are both willing, there’s a real chance to save and work through whatever is causing the disconnect. If it is not something that both of you are willing to do as soon as possible, then you may have your answer as to what to do.
    When you stated that:
    ” I took down a recent Facebook post of a quote that resonated with me because he didn’t like it. He got a text from a friend who asked him if everything was ok after reading it. He got upset that people would think it was about him,” that spoke loud and clear to me. If he is more concerned about other people’s perception of him as a husband instead of asking you what is wrong and if that doesn’t prompt a conversation with you that is open and honest, then that’s a problem.
    A couple needs to be able to talk about anything in my opinion. Honesty and openness will lead you to the right answer as to what to do next. When you get home, I’d have that conversation. Then suggest marriage counselling. If you are both in agreement that your marriage is worth the work, fantastic. I’ve seen it work for friends of mine. If one of you does not want marriage counselling, then that may be a sign of your next move.
    I hope your trip does you good! You can call your husband too to keep the communication open while you’re away too. That might be a good thing. But you being away will also allow him to see how much he may miss you and that he may appreciate you more than he may realize to himself.
    I think the trip is a good idea. Gives you some time to enjoy yourself with friends and think things over.
    I wish you all the best and whatever happens, may you feel at peace with your decision.

    Like

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